


The Golden Ms

by GallaVicious



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:26:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallaVicious/pseuds/GallaVicious
Summary: I’m terrible at writing descriptions but I’m a sucker for story where Ian and Mickey run into an ex.  Here they run into an older Kash at McDonald’s.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 6
Kudos: 159





	The Golden Ms

Kash hates having to come back to the south side. It brings forth all the memories from a time that he was truly unhappy. The anger and depression he felt from living a lie touched all aspects in his life, and he found himself hating just about everything. He appreciates Linda and loves his kids now, from afar, but at the time he despised them. The things he found any joy in were limited to being alone at the Kash and Grab and Ian. 

But here he was, back in his old neighbourhood to pick up some belongings from his past life. His cousin, Aalim, died last week. Aalim had been storing some of Kash’s possessions that he left behind when he fled his family eight years ago. Kash isn’t really sure why he bothered to come pick up the items, he hasn’t laid eyes on them in years and they are so are unfamiliar that looking at them makes him feel like a ghost looking in on a former life. He supposes that part of the reason he came back was to mourn the loss of his cousin but it’s mostly to say goodbye to the person that he used to be. The fact that Kash heard about his cousin’s death when he was notified that he needed to pick up his items instead of someone sending him the funeral details only solidified the fact that he has no ties to his formal life.

Linda shows up to the prayer service with the kids, she looks more at home with his extended family than he ever did. He supposes that he should be grateful that Linda kept up her relationship with them. His children shouldn’t be deprived of a family because he doesn’t fit anymore and it’s also a way for them to hold onto what Kash used to be. Kash can feel his aunt’s eyes boring into the back of his head the entire service. He mentally chastises himself. Why the fuck did he come here?

When the service is over, Kash can’t get out of there fast enough. He senses that his uncle wants to speak to him, berate him is more likely, but he’s too much of a coward to let that happen. He bolts towards the exit and doesn’t look back.

That brings him here. A middle aged man, in a rumpled dress shirt and slacks that are a size too small, standing in the middle of a McDonald’s staring up at an unappealing menu. His beat up, rusting Honda is sitting in the parking lot, full of memories he’s most likely going to throw in the trash when he gets home. Of course the drive-thru is out of service in this worthless place. He just wants something quick so that he can get back on the road and get the hell out of the south side.

He’s four people from the cashier now so turns his attention to the front of the line to figure out what he wants so he can make this transaction as painless as possible. His eyes catch a flash of red to the right, a glimpse of a ghost from his past that knocks all of the air from his lungs, making him feel like he’s taken a punch to the gut. Talking to the cashier two lines over is Ian Gallagher. 

God he looks good. The years have been more than kind to the ginger man. The once gangly, freckled face teen is now a beast of a man. All the softness is gone from his face and the freckles have faded. His rounded cheeks have been replaced by sharp cheekbones that are dusted with the remainder of his freckles. His plush, pink lips lead the way to his sturdy rugged jaw, which is dusted in ginger stubble. Kash wants to run his tongue across Ian’s chin to feel the prickling hairs. His gaze continues to shift down, Ian’s body is phenomenal. He had always looked good in his teens but he was lean bordering on too thin. Now he’s all broad shoulders and bulging arms. The only word Kash can think of to describe him is beefy. Kash feels the pink tip of his tongue subconsciously poke out of his mouth to wet his lips.

Leaving Ian was the one of the few regrets he had when he packed up his life and bolted. Granted, he and Ian weren’t on the best of terms with that stupid Milkovich kid getting in the way but deep down Kash always believed they’d find their way back to each other. He and Ian were two souls that were caught in a place of sorrow and regret. Ian, trying to grapple with a chaotic home life that left him feeling both equally trapped and untethered. Kash, stuck so far in the closet that even if he could muster the courage to leave, he doubted the thing had doors. They found each other in the sadness and Kash knew that created a strong link that would pull them back to each other.

Ian pick up his food and turns to find a table in the restaurant, walking in Kash’s direction. Kash briefly thinks about the amount of food on the tray and that it seems to be too much for one person, but that thought is quickly thrown out the window when his eyes flick downwards and notice the slight bulge in Ian’s tight jeans. He can’t tell if it’s as indecent as it seems or if Kash is just more perceptive because he longs for what is hidden in the confines of the dark denim. The sight brings a flood of pleasant memories. Since Ian, Kash not been able to find a partner that well endowed or made him feel as complete. 

His feet propel him forward, the need to speak to Ian is overwhelming. As Ian is approaching, Kash sees a brilliant, crooked smile break out on his face. It’s the type of smile that extends up to the corner of his eyes, which are soft with affection. Kash briefly thinks that he’s won the lottery but it’s quickly shattered when he realizes that Ian’s gaze is not directed towards him. He turns his body to follow Ian’s eye line and sees a pert ass covered in black denim waving in the air. The owner is bent over, focusing on something behind a chair. The delectable ass sits atop two powerful, thick thighs and Kash can tell that if he could see his back it would be just as muscular. He lets out a stuttering exhale. Ian certainly has good taste, he can see why he got distracted. Kash is about to turn back to Ian when the man stands up straight. Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe what Kash feels as he stares at the very familiar face.

Mickey Milkovich, the dirty, violent thug of the south side. The boy who terrorized him and eventually stole his Ian is standing less than 20 feet away. Only Mickey is no longer a dirty kid. Kash hates to admit it but he looks good, really good. He was right about his back being strong but he didn’t anticipate how wide his shoulders would be. Mickey was always on the shorter side and while he’s grown a few inches, his short stature has allowed him to hone all of his strength into a compact form. The bluest eyes he’s ever seen travel in Kash’s direction and he knows that Mickey is looking at Ian. He sees the same stupid affectionate look in them but there is an undercurrent of heat in his gaze. That mixture is too much to handle and Kash feels the telltale tingle of arousal in his groin. He loathes that Mickey Milkovich is the one causing his body to react this way and he can no longer stand to look at the thug. Kash turns back to the approaching redhead.

His Ian, the boy who once looked at him like he hung the moon, is still hanging around Mickey fucking Milkovich. He’s having a hard time believing it. Kash always assumed the Milkovich boy would either be in prison or dead by this point and Ian would be living a life of luxury on the North side with some wealthy hunk named Chad or Caleb. 

Kash thinks back to the amount of food on Ian’s tray, Ian was getting an order for the both of them. Kash looks down at Ian’s tray to confirm but his focus shifts to the sparkling sterling silver band on Ian’s left ring finger.

“The hell.” Kash clamps his lips down immediately. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud and he certainly didn’t mean for it to be at that volume, having practically yelled it across the restaurant. Immediately he sees emerald green eyes land on him and seconds later can feel two icy blue ones boring holes in the back of his skull. 

Ian is practically right in front of Kash now so he can see the clear confusion written all over Ian’s face. It is almost comical the way his mouth keeps opening and closing, like a fish out of water. Against his better judgement, Kash turns back to Mickey. He sees the same initial confusion but unlike Ian, it’s fleeting as Mickey registers who he’s looking at. The thug’s eyebrows quickly knit into a menacing scowl, he draws up his shoulders and puffs out his chest. He looks like a rooster primed for a fight, ready to claw out Kash’s eyes. Kash swears he even sees Mickey’s ink black hair stand up slightly like ruffled feathers. 

What throws Kash for a loop is that through Mickey’s growing bravado, he balances a little girl on his left hip. Mickey pulls her closer to his body in a protective gesture and the movement causes light to bounce off the matching silver band on his left ring finger. He feels the acidic sensation of bile rising in his throat as he starts piecing everything together. Mickey must have been tending to the child earlier when he was bent over. She can’t be more than two years old and is tiny in Mickey’s massive arms. Her pale ivory skin is mottled with freckles and her eyes the colour of jade. The messy mop of black curls atop her head bounce as she lets out a tinkling giggle. Kash has a terrible feeling about her relationship to the two men and can feel the bile continue to creep further up the back of his throat.

The toddler is oblivious to the drama playing out around her and uses Mickey’s distracted state to scrunch his red shirt with her chubby fingers. She makes happy cooing noises. Mickey notices the sound and his anger deflates slightly, his eyes flick towards the child, a small smile tugging at the right corner of his mouth. With the knowledge that the little girl is fine Mickey turns back to Kash, his anger is now rage and Kash swears he sees fire burning behind his eyes. Mickey starts stalking forward, advancing on Kash. Self preservation is his automatic response and Kash starts shifting backwards without realizing until Mickey traps him in an isolated corner. Mickey shifts his body to put himself between Kash and the child he’s still balancing on his hip.

“Yo, Kash and Grab,” Mickey spits out, “you come here to creep around the PlayPlace?” 

Kash is having an out of body experience. He hears Mickey’s question but his brain disconnects from reality and everything shuts down. He knows he is staring at Mickey but he can’t move and certainly can’t respond. He wants to look around to see if any of the McDonald’s patrons are watching and could come to his aid if needed but he is frozen. He’s sure this is his fight or flight response with his mind definitely choose flight, deciding to leave his body behind.

He registers that Ian is approaching. Ian’s face contorts with concern and although his eyes train on Kash, he knows that Ian’s concern is directed to his family.

“Kash?” Ian breathes out his name like a question. Ian comes to a stop to stand beside Mickey. 

The sound of Ian’s voice starts to bring Kash out of his temporary catatonic state. He can feel himself return to the restaurant and he flexes his hands to test the control he has on his body. As his mind returns, a surprising wave of anger starts bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Kash had an absolutely shitty week. His cousin died, his family treated him like an unwanted intruder, and to top it all off seeing these two good-looking men makes him feel worse about his own appearance. A disheveled, exhausted, overweight, middle aged mess standing in a dirty, rundown McDonalds in front of the object of his desire. 

The anger starts to churn more violently in his stomach and Kash feels the need to direct it somewhere just to get it out. His eyes land on Mickey. He knows it’s a mistake but he can’t stop the flood of enraged thoughts that slam into his brain about the thug. He feels the hateful words creeping up itching to escape his lips.

“What the fuck Ian,” Kash chides. “You’re still hanging around with this trash? Mickey fucking Milkovich. Are you serious?”

“Gallagher.” He hears the shorter raven haired man state. There’s no emotion behind it, Mickey’s just laying out the facts. Mickey’s expression on the other hand shows that he’s still ready to fight.

Kash must have looked perplexed because Mickey clarifies, “it’s Mickey Gallagher.” 

“You married Mickey,” Kash glares at Mickey to make a point and sneers the word, “Milkovich.” There is no way in hell he’s giving this man the satisfaction of calling him Gallagher. The fact they’re married is all Kash needs to confirm that the little girl Mickey is holding is their daughter. She also looks like the perfect mixture of the two of them. He assumes they figured out a way to conceive so she’s biologically both of theirs.

To Mickey’s credit he has no reaction to Kash’s response. Kash knows that he shouldn’t be poking the beast so to speak and counts himself lucky to still be in one piece. But he can’t help it. Mickey is living a life that should belong to him. He’s married to Ian, they have a child together and more importantly he’s living out loud as his true self. That’s the part that really gets to Kash. Sure, he has more freedom in his new life and he’s certainly happier than when he was with Linda. But he still feels afraid of being his true self and keeps that part hidden when meeting new people. Hell, only a handful of people in his new life know that he’s gay. 

Kash continues. “You’re better than this Ian. You’re better than this worthless criminal.” This is something that he truly believes. Ian is one of the kindest souls he knows and no amount of redemption will make Mickey worthy of him.

Mickey scoffs, “I’m the criminal? Could have easily called the cops on your pedophile ass.”

“It’s only a matter of time before you land yourself in jail,” Kash jabs back. “Ruining your life, Ian’s and this little girls.” Kash knows it’s unfair to bring his kid into it and any punch to the face coming his way he deserves. It’s like being on a ride that won’t stop. He knows this isn’t really about Mickey but he’s no longer in control of himself.

“Why you son of a b...” Mickey steps towards Kash.

“Enough!” Ian roars. Both men look over at him in shock at his outburst. Kash knows that if he looks around the entire restaurant’s attention would be on them. Part of him hopes no one phones the police but the other half recognizes he’s backed himself into a losing situation.

The fire he saw in Mickey’s eyes earlier is a mere flicker to what he is seeing in Ian’s eyes now. Kash pales, shrinking his body, trying to fold into himself like a turtle hiding in it’s shell. Ian is actually terrifying. This is not the innocent boy that he used to know. The anger that Kash was feeling earlier quickly turns to fear.

A sudden piercing wail erupts from the small child on Mickey’s hip and it interrupts their staring contest. Ian’s attention snaps to her immediately.

“No Emma,” Ian murmurs, regret written all over his face. “Shh, daddy didn’t mean to scare you.” Ian balances the tray of food on one hand and uses his thumb on his other one to swipe away a tear that’s rolling down her cheek. He leans over to kiss the top of her head. She looks up at him with big watery green eyes, continuing to sniffle through her tears but her wailing sobs become quieter as she stares up at her dad. Ian smiles at her warmly. “Shh, Emma bear.”

“Come on Em,” Mickey bounces her up and down, “let’s leave daddy to speak to this pervert. Wanna go colour?” She lets out an elated burble. Mickey turns walking back to the seats Kash originally saw him at. A colouring book and crayons strewn all over the table top. He hears Mickey continue to speak to the little girl, his voice fading as he gets further away, “and that’s the type of man dada never wants you hanging around. You are my special princess who deserves to be treated right and...”

“How fucking dare you.”

Kash snaps his eyes back to Ian. 

“You sad, worthless excuse for a man,” Ian continues. The volume of his voice is back to a normal level but his words are sharp, slashing at Kash like a knife. “You’re lucky that my daughter is here or your blood would be all over my knuckles.”

Kash winces. He knows that there is no lie in that statement. “Ian...” he starts in an attempt to smooth the situation. If Ian had any fond memories from their time together, Kash knows his actions have destroyed them.

“No. You don’t speak. I’ve heard enough from you,” Ian leaves no room for argument and Kash knows to keep his mouth shut. “You knew me for what, a handful of months ten years ago?” Kash almost corrects Ian on the timeline but quickly decides it won’t help the situation. “You don’t know me at all. You know some figment of your imagination, a memory of a boy who doesn’t exist anymore.” 

Kash really wants to speak, he wants to tell Ian that he does know him but the words are stuck in his throat.

Ian’s blazing green eyes flick over to Mickey before he continues, “and you certainly don’t know Mickey.” Ian lets out a sigh. “Under that tough exterior he is the most fiercely loyal, caring person I know. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve him.” 

There’s a sadness that washes over Ian’s eyes but whatever causes it is fleeting and the anger snaps back into place. 

“I won’t stand here and let you speak about the man I love like that. And the fact that you had the fucking gall to mention my daughter,” a menacing laugh escapes Ian. “Do you have some sort of death wish?”

Kash shifts his weight onto his back foot preparing to flee.

“There’s one thing about me that hasn’t changed and you should always remember,” Ian moves the tray to the side and steps into Kash’s personal space, their chests bumping together. Ian towers over Kash. The last time he had been this close to Ian he was the taller of the two and it had been under happier circumstances. Kash can’t stop the automatic reaction of his body and he feels his blood rushing south. Ian doesn’t seem to notice and continues spitting out, “I’m fucking south side bitch. I will always fight to defend my family so do yourself a favour and forget we exist.”

Ian flares his nostrils and stares Kash down. It feels like five minutes pass when in reality it has only been about ten seconds. Making his point, Ian spins on his heels and heads back to his family. 

Kash lets out a shuddering breath and looks around the McDonald’s. There are a small handful of people looking in his direction but for the most part, the patrons continue about their business ignoring the commotion. He should have known no one would care, fucking south side.

He decides he doesn’t need food, what he really needs is to get the hell out of this restaurant. So Kash flees. It takes him 33 paces to get to his car and when he can reach the door handle, he grasps it pulls it sharply flinging the door open. He throws himself into the driver’s seat and slams the door closed.

He doesn’t start the car right away. Kash sits basking in the silence, relying on it to calm his breathing and slow his hammering heart. The adrenaline from his interaction with the Gallaghers is still pumping through his veins. He rests his forehead on the steering wheel, the cool leather grounding him. Gallagher. That name used to conjure so many happy memories for him but now, all he can see is Mickey’s face. He lifts up his head and his gaze lands on the couple. Of course his car is parked directly across from their table. He watches them through the window with fascination. 

Mickey raises his hand to Ian’s face, his expression displaying concern. Mickey appears to be comforting the red headed man by running his thumb along Ian’s sharp cheekbone. He says something that Kash can’t make out but he can tell it’s soft and meant to soothe the ginger. Kash can’t stop the scoff that escapes. The big bad closeted thug of the south side is in a public place, softly pacifying his husband.

This Mickey is so different from the one that Kash remembers and it’s making his head spin. Loyal. Caring. He hears that words that Ian threw at him bouncing around in his skull. Kash thinks back to the Mickey he knew. Really thinking about it, he supposes that loyalty was always there. Mickey had started hanging around more after he and Ian had that initial run in over Mickey’s sister. Mickey had come barging into the Kash and Grab out for Ian’s blood, all in the name of protecting his sister. He then continued to come back to the store because he cared for Ian, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So yeah, Kash can admit that Mickey had the ability to be loyal and caring to those he loves.

Focusing back on the Gallaghers, he sees Ian nuzzle his cheek into Mickey’s palm as Mickey brings their foreheads together. Both men turn in unison to look down at the small child perched on Mickey’s knee. Soft smiles break out on their faces. They watch with fondness as she mushes french fries in one hand and drags the fingers on the other through a pile of ketchup. She reaches up and paints Mickey’s cheek red. He lets out a genuine laugh and his smile is stunning, lighting up his entire face. It surprises Kash and he finds the corners of his mouth turning upwards in response.

The men turn back to look at each other and Mickey places a tender, feather light kiss on Ian’s lips. When they pull away, Ian has a dazed look on his face. He blinks three times before firmly grabbing Mickey’s face in both hands and pulling him forward to fuse their mouths together. This kiss is more intense and Kash sees Mickey’s lips part slightly. Ian takes the opportunity to glide his tongue into Mickey’s mouth, lightly massaging it against the black haired man’s tongue. The passion that flares between the two is short lived and soon they are pulling away, twin smiles adorning their faces. Ian says something to Mickey and although Kash is not adept at reading lips, it doesn’t take an expert to understand it as “I love you.”

He really does. Kash can see it all over Ian’s face but what really catches his attention is that he can see it mirrored on Mickey’s. The shorter man’s expression is completely open. That phrase, “wears their heart on their sleeve.” Mickey’s face is the definition. He adores Ian and doesn’t care who can see it. Kash is jealous of him, not because he has Ian but because he’s so honest about himself. In another life, Kash would jump at the opportunity to ask Mickey how he was able to overcome his fear of coming out and the evolution to get him to the person he is today. But it’s this life and the best he can do is doing what Ian asked and forgetting the Gallaghers. 

Kash turns on his car and starts backing out of the McDonald’s parking lot. He wishes them the best and a happy future but he truly hopes he never sees them again.


End file.
